The intrusive thoughts
They call out to me
Whispering
In my ear
To take the axe
And ****** the first person nearby

They consume my brain
Once I pick up a pair
Of scissors
My thoughts
Once full of the intention of cutting up a crocheted pear
Now reduced to one
With the sole intent
To cover myself with super **** scars

They colonize
They mineralize
They reorganize
They way how
My nerves
And brain functions

They tell me
Everything is fine
When I do mere cat scratches
At my thighs and arms
They tell me to do more
And everything will be okay
They tell me
Everything is their fault anyway
They're the reason why I'm doing it
The stings
Fall away
And they keep encouraging
Telling me to try to cut deeper
With a dull blade

The axe
The axe is telling me to release my anger
Onto someone
Someone that deserves
Getting an axe
Thrown at their head
It's telling me
I'm not going to be a danger
To society
Or myself
If I follow
It's command

These thoughts
Are begging to see
Blood
Even though
I'm scared to see
The blood
I'm scared to see the insides of humans
Yet somehow
I manage
To let them see some blood
One way
Or another

From begging for me
To be punching holes
In the walls
To making me want to slit my own throat
And call it a day

They help me
By letting everything go by
They provide me
And help me see
That everything is going to be fine
They remove most of my struggles
And blame it on someone else
They reassure me
Like no one else can

They're like a leech
Yet, I still love them