This just isn't fair.
Not right.
I would rather have stayed alone, untouched, locked away,
than this.
Last night I thought a change had come.
I finally felt the heavens open and a beam of light settle on my face, as warming as the sun,
as warming as your hands on me.
But now it's cold.
My body that had gotten into a routine of no emotion, no feeling,
felt alive.
Electricity ran down my veins into my fingertips, my stomach filled with stars and
my lips
burnt.
I've been left scorched.
A burns victim with acid thrown in their face.
I've been scooped out like a pumpkin and left hollow.
I've been resuscitated and the plug pulled again.
Whatever sadness I felt before was
nothing
like this.

I was happy being unhappy.