Swaying madly from side to side
He believes he’s on the radio station
His eyes all bulbous and wide
Playing songs to please the nation
From Elvis to Black lace
As a smile spreads across his face

In his mind he’s Tony Blackburn
And Scott Mills rolled into one
As sweat drips down his solitary sideburn
Cause the other side is completely gone
Next up its the Rolling Stones
Through his imaginary headphones

Now comes the weather report
Sun with patchy rain
A quick update on the sport
Raducanu has lost again
Then he utters goodbye
Clutching his bag close to his thigh

In the bus stop he then squats
Before searching through a bin
Tying his beard into knots
He scratches his aching shin
As the doors open again without fuss
Lets re-welcome the DJ on the bus