I went today
I have not been going  
so many reasons
So many things
How hard it feels how much it hurts
How much I miss where I was
How Starting over is more challenging than it was to begin in the first place
How much I miss the way it used to feel vs how much pain I’m in now
I know I know I must keep going to make it hurt less but I’m afraid and avoiding the pain of hurting witch makes me hurt more in other ways
I feel as if I’ll never be winning again this is my season of loosing
I have lost where I was and I don’t know how to find my way back with out going
I went today
It hurt