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2d
What it feels like when I can’t breathe.
Like some thief just stole my joy,
Made me gasp for air.
It happens like this,
when I feel like no one cares.
Why am I like this?
So emotional,
Don’t they know it kills me,
to not be normal?
If I breathe in and out…
Like everyone else does.
Maybe I wouldn’t panic,
The endless teardrops barge past, my bloodshot, swollen eyes
Nothing about this is normal
But yet they criticize
Stop crying.
Just breathe.
There’s no need for tears.
It’s like being mocked has become my biggest fear.
It makes me feel insane.
And feel suffocated.
I know im not crazy,
I know im just different.
But for someone who suffers from, PTSD, there’s a big difference.
I have had my struggles and emotional trips. I have obsessive-compulsive thoughts that get stuck like a switch.
Some say it’s easy to handle
Just don’t think about it.
But once something is in my head, leaving doesn’t exist.
So if I’ve ever cared for you, you’re always in my head.
There’s no way for you to disappear even with a single med.
I just want to breathe normally.
I just want to be seen.
I just want to be okay.
I just want to be me.
The interworkings of an mother mind, suffering from old,  anxiety, depression , ptsd.
Leanne
Written by
Leanne  39/F/United States
(39/F/United States)   
29
 
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