I saw myself die
In the way that you want her.
When I thought that I had you,
I was suffocating.
If I stayed and waited
And gave and pretended,
I made believe you would come to me.
But I want to be wanted.
All I was
Was used.
A tool, for now.
But nothing mattered.
She gets your heartache
And she gets your longing,
Your reverence, and sweetness.
I didn't know what I was missing.
I didn't know what was possible
Until I saw you in her arms.
I want to be wanted.
I fell for my own illusions
And let myself think
That right now was enough,
When what I wanted was forever.
What I wanted was a partner.
I wanted to be wanted,
But you didn't want me.