I sit with clammy hands gripping on my jeans
with my head facing my wooden desk
trying not to make any eye contact with the teacher
But in my chest, a severe panic stands before me randomly
soon there was a sudden watchful feeling inside me circling
multiple eyeballs were glancing at every inch of me
I watch their eyes with terror knowing they aren’t actually there
as I try to keep my composure down with deep breaths
my leg starts to shake uncontrollably
making some of my classmates notice with awe
they whisper to one another and when the teacher calls on them
they go back to doing their schoolwork
“Do they see through my disguise?”

suddenly the teacher calls my name
wanting to know if I’m alright since I seem off
I smile and tell him I’m alright , but inside I know that wasn’t true
I look at the window next to my desk
the feeling of sonder runs through my head swiftly
from every car and truck going to different directions
to the birds eating random scraps on the sidewalks
The world feels strange when you think about every little detail
and yet I can't find peace no matter how much I try to look at it in a different view perspective
I began to hear the same whispers rising again
“Are they talking about me still?”
I secure my disguise back on quickly

Every time skip, every sneeze with “bless you” , my mind’s a blur
Hiding the overflowing storm that wasn’t done with me
unsure of when it’s safe to be at ease.
I make it through my last class and began to pack my bags
But in my head, I’m not at rest.