and now is just the end of something i cannot begin again my jaws clenched skeleton losing all its bones, suitcase packed and anxious to leave leave behind the stories that made you whole, made you your present self, leave behind the promises made in may, the goodbyes frozen in august. and now the ending is so clear denial seems impossible of an option, build up the walls again, the walls built from fear hide your body if you lose it, never was it worth it lose the weight of progression start a new world you cannot dismantle dismantle love, make it unrecognizable unable to be recognized through a shoulder brush just another universe, unable to be kept keep the words to yourself, swallow the sting of loss trample the persistent pangs of hunger for the things memory cannot reach hide until the hiding spot becomes a home soft and harmless abandon the idea of forgiveness for yourself, yourself the one past forgiving. disappear into the smog, suitcase in hand, barely lifted off the ground. this is the end of something i just cannot bring to begin again.
how it feels to lose touch with someone and punish yourself by not reaching out or acting like you donβt care.