a flicker a spark (the night is)
only a little ache of waiting

rolled tight as a whisper this
cigarette (breathless
paper prayer for) nothing

the flame doesn’t soothe
but it dances,
doesn't it? doesn’t it?

ash falls into
the quiet
I try to call sleep (a lover
who never answers, a lie
I am too awake to stop believing)

another spark
the night twists longer (a thread unspooling)
& my mind unravels (a mad clock
that forgets how to stop ticking)

and this manic silence,
this endless
yes,
no.
yes,
no.

until the stars mock me
& I burn away
waiting for sleep or
the courage to stop pretending
I’m not the flame.