Who am I if I cannot think, cannot speak, and cannot show?

who may I be if my thoughts are a mess, are a muse, and are at war with me?

I want to be happy, be glad, and not ever, ever, be sad.

My thoughts are too deep, even for the most deepest people you'll ever meet. Am I one with my own ending? and ending of sorrow, confusion, and regret? Or am I the answer to what thee seek?