This evening there are no words
Or explanations for how I feel .
I have become accustomed to feeling a little numb .
Only when diving head first into nature and quenching my thirst for life can I feel .
I will not write a masterpiece this evening ,
I will not fasten  the seat belt
ready for the roller coaster that follows,
I will dive head first
Then regret later
I will allow,
Beckon even
I will scream from the roof tops until my lungs are sore
I will not be silent
I will not be kind
Or caring
I will not be needy or wanting
I will quench this thirst that lays in my soul
My soul
Dare me to feel and I will need to back away and hide in darkened places.
Licking old wounds and not allowing you any closer.
Be careful how you approach me,
I seem like I am standing here with an armour to protect.
But I am weak when love lies before me.
I will not write a masterpiece this evening ,
I will be the masterpiece
Standing tall and feeling weak,
Looking brave and yet falling,
Falling apart at the seams that make me
Me …