when I really need them
the words wont come
neither will art,music,or
the one who left the one I need
so I turn to the things that never leave
yes they're unhealthy ,yes they could **** me
but just for a moment these things
they fill me with the calm I seek
the peace I need
as the blood begins to leak
all my thoughts start to leave
and as the smoke rises up
my mind follows
so I don't have to think
or remember the pain
so I'm not the same
I'm funny and calm
its stupid I know
but don't tell me that
cause I remember when I had no where to go
you turned your back
you left me alone
to deal with the lack
of love or father or even a home
so I found a way
I struggled to cope
but now you come back
just to say
I'm not living right
like I have no clue
that you messed up too
then you claim you're a new person
that you've changed
but that doesn't matter
cause I'm still the same