I knew it was getting bad again…
When in the morning it got harder to get up
When I kept throwing up…
And I knew it was getting bad again
When my cheeks started to hurt from fake smiling
When my laughter turned hollow as I kept lying
I knew it was getting bad again
When my hands started to tremble
And my composure started to crumble
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I wanted to but couldn't eat
And eating without getting sick became a treat
I knew it was getting bad again
When my headaches grew stronger
And the noise grew louder
And I knew it was getting bad again
When something I tried so hard to forget came back
And the voices in my head all said "You need that"
I knew it was getting bad again
When it got harder to resist
The lie in my head that couldn't be missed
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I lay in bed all day
Crying endlessly and not being able to pray
I knew it was getting bad again
When I lay awake at night
Wondering if I really was alright
And I knew it was getting bad again
When the darkness started to close in
And I couldn't see Him
I knew it was getting bad again
When a simple conversation became exhausting
And messing around was draining
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I started to forget how to eat
When I started to forget how to sleep
I knew it was getting bad again
When I had no motivation for anything
When everything felt numbing
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I could hardly walk
And when I could barely talk
I knew it was getting bad again
When I became numb
And all my emotions seemed dumb
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I started to question if anyone loved me
And if they would all soon leave me
I knew it was getting bad again
When the thought of going out became terrifying
And I stayed inside hiding
And I knew it was getting bad again
When my eyes became red
And my head felt like led
I knew it was getting bad again
When the dark circles became consistent
And when dry, smarting eyes became persistent
And I know it's getting bad again
When I feel the darkness swallow me up
And I can't get up