Theres a part of me swirling around inside
Hoping to be free, to be discovered.
Yet when I let it out, everything changes.
It takes over me completely.
Consumes my soul and the darkness overtakes the light.  
I drown in my own freedom..
Am I supposed to bury it down so deep I hopefully forget about it?
I can live in the light and pretend the rest doesn’t exist.
Yet I’ll be denying a whole entire half of me.
I don’t know if it’s even half really..
It doesn’t like to share..
it’s either dwindled down n hidden or it takes completely over.
But I can’t deny it’s there even while suppressing it so well.
Even in my happiest moments it finds a way of exposing itself and I have to cover it up with a fake smile and pretending to be perfectly well.
It hits me like a brick ******* wall.
No matter how high the bliss or how low the pits I’m in.
It always has a way of surprising me.. reminding me it’ll never go away.
I could live a lie, or live completely taken by this darkness.
I fear there is no middle ground here.