Apr 15
I used to like the cadence of “the Army goes rolling along”…
Until I was in it
And on a Sunday morning we found out our friend had shot himself
Four days after getting home and redeploying early.
And on Monday, we had all of our meetings, we had every due out, and only a few out of place “how are you’s”?
And so I keep asking myself how this happened
How no one knew of any signs
How we could not save him
Of all of the future plans he had and the laughs that will never be shared
I sigh and I cry and I hug and my heart still aches
And I think of David and Tony and the people suicide and depression have already stolen from me
And of all the people I could not save
And now in an organization as large as the Army, how is there no change?
Of all the “Soldier first” and “golden triangle” phone calls and “MQ Leadership” how are we still here?
How is the reality I am living even happening?
There is a better way, one that I know we need, but one I have yet to find or create
So the story of the American soldier goes on,
While Iran attacks Israel and our guns are up, we will be “ready”
Despite an aching heart
And a broken person or key leader or two
Because you were never graced with even enough time to breathe
And you return to the same organization your friend hated
The same organization that drained, and exhausted, and took from your friend
And you think to yourself, what if he had loved it?
What if his battalion commander had uplifted him?
What if his leadership had fought for him?
What if the people receiving him in the rear actually took care of him?
But most of all what if we could have saved him?
And so with a rather lack of poetic flow,
I will carry him with me in life, like I do the others. I will keep trying. But a life of trying this hard is draining the sunlight from me, as so many people said to keep it.
So maybe we will come together, and find a solution. A better way to help our people. A way to keep us alive.
Or as they say, the army will keep rolling along.
Until I was in it
And on a Sunday morning we found out our friend had shot himself
Four days after getting home and redeploying early.
And on Monday, we had all of our meetings, we had every due out, and only a few out of place “how are you’s”?
And so I keep asking myself how this happened
How no one knew of any signs
How we could not save him
Of all of the future plans he had and the laughs that will never be shared
I sigh and I cry and I hug and my heart still aches
And I think of David and Tony and the people suicide and depression have already stolen from me
And of all the people I could not save
And now in an organization as large as the Army, how is there no change?
Of all the “Soldier first” and “golden triangle” phone calls and “MQ Leadership” how are we still here?
How is the reality I am living even happening?
There is a better way, one that I know we need, but one I have yet to find or create
So the story of the American soldier goes on,
While Iran attacks Israel and our guns are up, we will be “ready”
Despite an aching heart
And a broken person or key leader or two
Because you were never graced with even enough time to breathe
And you return to the same organization your friend hated
The same organization that drained, and exhausted, and took from your friend
And you think to yourself, what if he had loved it?
What if his battalion commander had uplifted him?
What if his leadership had fought for him?
What if the people receiving him in the rear actually took care of him?
But most of all what if we could have saved him?
And so with a rather lack of poetic flow,
I will carry him with me in life, like I do the others. I will keep trying. But a life of trying this hard is draining the sunlight from me, as so many people said to keep it.
So maybe we will come together, and find a solution. A better way to help our people. A way to keep us alive.
Or as they say, the army will keep rolling along.
