Down in the town of Mayonnaise
Spread out along the country side
Mayor Egg White came to proclaim
They soon would be fighting for their lives

Sandwiched between two armies
The tribes of Ham on Rye
Everyone must battle
So, bring along your spoons and knives

They mustard up the courage
Feeling they were in a pickle
The town of Mayo was spread thin
Until their hero showed, Sir Pumpernickel

Who used the magic of Miracle Whip
A bit tangy to the taste
But after all did the trick
Laying all of Mayonnaise's enemies to waste

Where the town brought out their knives and spoons
And soon cleaned up the mess
The Miracle Whip did what it was meant to
Giving the town of Mayonnaise its much needed rest