Somewhere in all the mixing of these herbs and spices I was caught in a scent of remembering the way my mother crushes crushed black pepper because it is never fine enough And the way she closes her eyes sprinkling in salt, cayenne, cumin... never measured, never the same Just hands with so much to remember hands with so much weight holding the past and present holding our hair and the house, holding her pain and my pain holding a ladle and my hand smiling and laughing I chase her down for a hug as she runs from one *** to another we giggle and giggle, and the flame feels cold unparalleled to her warmth