If I could go back
5 years ago to
23 year old me I would tell her
to walk away.
To not speak to him.
No matter how badly I needed to.
I would miss out on all of the
love,
all of the love I gave to him
and all of the love he gave to me.

But it would be worth it.
Worth it to miss the pain he
caused,
worth it to never know what it
was like to love him.
It would be worth it to know
who I would have became
if he never entered my life
and flipped it upside down.
I might be married,
have a kid or two.

And most of all I wouldn’t have
this giant hole in my heart
that grew larger in size
each time he left me.
I wouldn’t be 29 years old,
single and completely
terrified of what’s out there.
Who is out there.

If I could go back I would
choose to have never met him.