I would be a great artist If only i could sit still, If only i could give myself permission to stop, To pause long enough to create Without this rush Without this never ending, unceasing drive To be finished already To be on to the next thing... This feeling That im already too late For action For life For love For now.... Im too late for now! **** Stuck on this merry go round Which is neither merry Nor travelling towards any destination Except my inevitable death... I consume my life with things not done With what I should be doing but am not... In the minutie of banall tasks While the joy, light and colour of my life remains unpainted. Just melancoly ideas On a canvas strewn with trivialities.... Maybe this is my life? The sum of these random scrawls which somehow spells the shadow of the word "trauma". I sit in a pool of my own dissatisfaction Waiting for... for what? For better days? For salvation? To be rescued? As i push away those who may help... Such a strange thing Existance Life Hope....