when i close my eyes
i see the red spilling over my legs
my
hands
the
floor
i see the pieces of me
that died here
i see the whiteness of it
the bathroom ceiling, maybe
the absence of consciousness
maybe the light before
you...

almost died?
you wouldn't have died
you weren't gonna die -

does it matter? does that really matter
when the blood pooled in my boots
and pooled in my boots and pooled
and pooled and pooled
everywhere?
everywhere.