The deafening overwhelm of nothing
When the credits fade
Or the note hits its final crescendo
The “thank you for watching”
soundwaves enter your eardrums
Your surroundings stare back, begging you to pay attention
The clothes piles
The ***** dishes
Dust on shelves and countertops
Everywhere is clutter
Walking is a landmine
Suddenly it hits:
You can’t tell the difference between now and five days ago
You know that something aches
Maybe the chemical imbalance, maybe the loss of an old friend
It could even be everything
But it’s definitely something
I can feel it every time I wake up and I smother myself back to sleep
sometimes I won't even let myself use the bathroom
But there’s plans in the diary
And an exciting life laying the footpath ahead of me
And yet
The silence blasts in my ears
And sores my eyes
Hollowing me inside
I’ve always been like this
I just don’t know if I have it in me
To roll up my sleeves
And try again.