You and I were always meant to be,
Me to meet you and indeed you me,
To fall in love with you,
That has always been my lot,
To lose those parts of me
I valued most,
My pride
My arrogance
My certainty

We were meant always to sail together and
Share a great distance,
Many memories,
To see a vast tract of water
Pass under the bridge,
To share our everything
Our selves
Our hearts,
Our souls,

And now I am lesser - for my pride,
That arrogant cancer that thought it ruled?
That vast chunk of me
Has burned away,
Reduced to ashes and even those
Carried away by the wind,
Leaving just an absence,
A charred hollow remnant
Now silent,

And I would fill that void with you,
Cram it with love for every part of you,
Pack it so tight with service of you
That not the slightest part of any other
Would or could ever intrude,
Neither thought nor action
Betray thee
Or me
Or us,

But though on your suggestion
I wrote a death sentence against that other,
Though I finessed the edges
To ensure the bolt struck a fatal blow,
Did this without demur,
Because I know what future
I desire and that with you,
Dinner with him still beckons thee,
And not informed beyond a doubt it not a date,

I had no doubt,
I acted straight to reassure you,
Contributed to make a deadly form,
And you do not see the unspoken part
Of your omission,
The unverbalised desire to
Keep your options open,

And not to make it plain before
That it is not a date.
And I  cannot now raise this again,
Despite my reasonable stance,
For you will throw the trust  card
In my face,
Pour angry vitriol upon my head,
And I would drive you where he would have you,
And that is not his sofa,
Nor your van.