Sometimes it's like a drum in this deep deep tummy place
Always rhythm always pulsing away
Like waves rippling out
Over and over
Very very gently rocking
Like an undertone
Drumming through

Sometimes it's like sickly sweet sap deep in my throat
Achy
Coating everything
Oozy
Liquid
Tarry
Burning acid around the edges

Sometimes it's like a huge trampoline
Everything moving
Up and down
In slow motion
Breaking up on impact
In my heart
Disintegrating
A bit at a time

Sometimes it’s like sand
Falling through clenched fists
Slowly caressing them to open
Relax
Just a little bit
Compelling them to yield to the constant motion
To the gentle gentle cascade
So gentle I can’t stand it
So gentle I actually can’t stand

Sometimes it’s like a slap bracelet
A moment of contact
And instantly
Wrapped all around
Totally gripped
Coming to on a bathroom floor
Bells and dishes clanking in the background

Sometimes it’s like nerve endings
A young fern
Unfurling
Cautiously
Recoiling easily
Healing
Raw and delicate

Sometimes it’s like the wind in the swaying trees is whispering
Singing
Howling:
You are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You are forgiven
You are loved
You are a part of us
You belong
You are a beloved child of the wild

Sometimes it’s like confusion
Marshy
Organic
Alive
Decomposing
Dark
Trusting the process
Trusting life

Often it’s like ungraspability
Trying, failing, words
Loving eyes
Comforting faces
Guiding hands
Achy knees
Bright sun
A heart

It’s just like becoming alive