What cruel joke by the universe
To allow me to exist:
A broken ****** and a family nurse
Is what began the disappointment list.

And fate tried to correct its mistake
giving this child a horrible infection.
Yet by miracle, and with every birthday cake,
this undue life would continue to go on.

Following close to me is the misfortune
common accidents, broken hearts, and more.
No matter the prayers done to the full moon,
bit by bit these small things, my heart tore.

The voices in my head try to coerce me
To make me finish what life has started
A simple cut and I would be free
Of all the doubts my heart comparted.

And how come every decision feels like the wrong one
Even when it is completely out of your hands
Now happiness and excitement, inside me there is none
As fate will never acknowledge my plans

When I get close to achieving my goals
the heart will panic, it must all be a lie.
And deep inside this voice, sure it grows
"You will never do anything good with your life"

And this sabotage works
And my screams are heard by no one
My cries are dry when needed
My smile can no longer hide the sadness
My mind feels like a prison
And her arms feel like a shelter
Yet I know I can't abuse it
Because I know how much it hurts her
To see me suffering like this

She deserves the best the world can offer
Yet all she got, was good old me.

So I'll continue on my borrowed time
See how far I can still push it
Will I still be a burden to all, or will I rise when I fall?
I don't know.
But I sure wish to see it.