I wish I hadn't played Bowie that night
In your kitchen - he was yours after all
But Mum, I was only dancing
And at least it wasn't Wonderwall

I know you really loved it -
The incessant guitar and drippy vibes
I kicked a ball about too
And sang Teen Spirit once or twice

The funny thing is, the irony is over
I didn't self-combust or spend empty
Wednesdays digging old boys' graves
Or rent a fleapit from the 1970s

I did, however, sleep too much,
I wasn't as clever as I thought
I wrote doggerel and this 'poem' too
And mostly dreamt while the tough lads fought

Trouble is, you're not here to see
A human girl interested in me,
Or my driving round the old town
I'd pray you could, but I'm not aged three

You no longer have to iron my shirt
Or lend me a lift from school
You needn't change my room around
Or gently persuade me to follow rules

If angels can reach back down to Earth
You might wanna honour one of my wishes
I'm useless at hoovering - a real pet hate,
But I swear I got better at the dishes