This place still exists, it turns out. I didn't mean to find it, I just wanted to use this website for a project, and it redirected me here. I guess that's fate being herself once again, because this always was the place for deep secrets and darker thoughts.


You won't ever find this, I'm almost sure of it.


1. I said I wouldn't write about you anymore, I hope this doesn't break that rule.

2. I'm so happy you've moved on, I'm so grateful to the universe for giving you back love.

3. I've moved on too. It's been... slow... I feel like there's always something new to unpack, something else to remember, something more to forgive or repent. I'm not in a relationship in any kind of traditional sense, but I'm learning to love in a way that heals rather than hurts, and that's pretty immense.

4. sometimes I wish you sent me that email on valentines, sometimes I wonder what it would say and what it could have changed.

5. most of the time, I'm glad you didn't, and you found a love that seems so full of Good in the glimpses I've tangentially seen.

6. A lot of the time, I think about whether you read my email. I wonder if it helped or hurt, I wonder if you think of me at all.

7. Always, I hope for a future where we talk, catch up as friends, you let me cheer for you on the sidelines of your life as you grow into this amazing person you've always had the capacity to become.

8. Eternally, I'll love you. In the way of dog-eared books and well-loved movies. A finished kind of love, a sweet kind of loss.

9. whatever I am to you these days, be it villain or side character, or nothing at all, I hope I at least remain a lesson, to never accept anything less than the love you deserve ever again, no matter the reason  

10. Thanks for saving my life