I was thinking yesterday
About how to end my life
About what I could do
To make it less painful
For my loved ones.

Do I find my husband another woman?
Do I make sure my mom has friends to lean on?
Do I get another puppy that my dog can play with as a distraction?

Should I write eveyone a detailed note?
Should I move far away?
Should I pretend I'm fine until the end?

What did my dad do?

Did he have an outline of his plans?
Did he polish up his bank account?
Did he tidy up his room?
Was his note written in advance?
Was he off his medication?
Was his mind always made up?

I was thinking about ending my life
But I dont think
I was prepared to leave.