Dec 2022
Do you think it's silly?
How I crave all the conversations we never got to share.
What happened to our early mornings?
What happened to our late night talks?
Is your favorite color still the same?
Are Wednesday still filled with laughs?
Have you been eating your meals every day?
Do you belive the stars have ears?
What do you crave the most in the world?
Will we ever have a second chance?
I miss you. I miss the smile you put on my face. I miss your wise words, your company, you.
All of you.
I still miss you.
Sometimes, some days, I think I'm okay.
Some days I wake up and you're not here and I understand.
Some days I still wake up missing you.
The impotence, the emptiness, the hole widens the days I miss you.
Today I missed you.
Some of my tears, they have your name. I save them for when I feel like I can't do this anymore.
They remind me of you, and how alive I felt with you. I need them. I need you.
I lost you, but I have you.
Can I keep you?
Is it okay to keep your memories in a crystal box, is it okay to go back when I need them.
Is it okay to keep your smile in my eyes and your voice in my ears.
It's okay. Right?
I hope you're good. I hope you don't get the bad days.
I hope you let someone hold you when you're down.
Did I ever tell you just how wonderful you are?
You're wonderful.
Goodnight.
How I crave all the conversations we never got to share.
What happened to our early mornings?
What happened to our late night talks?
Is your favorite color still the same?
Are Wednesday still filled with laughs?
Have you been eating your meals every day?
Do you belive the stars have ears?
What do you crave the most in the world?
Will we ever have a second chance?
I miss you. I miss the smile you put on my face. I miss your wise words, your company, you.
All of you.
I still miss you.
Sometimes, some days, I think I'm okay.
Some days I wake up and you're not here and I understand.
Some days I still wake up missing you.
The impotence, the emptiness, the hole widens the days I miss you.
Today I missed you.
Some of my tears, they have your name. I save them for when I feel like I can't do this anymore.
They remind me of you, and how alive I felt with you. I need them. I need you.
I lost you, but I have you.
Can I keep you?
Is it okay to keep your memories in a crystal box, is it okay to go back when I need them.
Is it okay to keep your smile in my eyes and your voice in my ears.
It's okay. Right?
I hope you're good. I hope you don't get the bad days.
I hope you let someone hold you when you're down.
Did I ever tell you just how wonderful you are?
You're wonderful.
Goodnight.
5:45am – The sunrise reminds me of you. I haven't been staying up late a lot, but I saw one for the first time a few days ago and I haven't been able to get you off my mind again. Remember when I sent you pictures of colors off Google to paint the sky cause I forgot to take a pic? A sunset if i recall correctly. I wish I could give you some of my warmth to face the winter, maybe you didn't like my skies that much, but I loved the reactions you gave me every time (even if you'd nag at me for being up after). I hope you're staying warm, you always said you were cold. Did that new position work out at your job? Maybe you're warmer there now. There's so much that reminds me of you, it gets hard sometimes to not cry when I imagine how much you'd love some of the things I see. It upsets me, i wish I could still share with you. I hope the snow is good to you, has it snowed yet? Did you put up all your trees? One? None. God I miss you. We didn't decorate this Christmas, mom was mad because she said dad and I hate it. I put up a whole Christmas tree for her I said but then I realized... I did it for you. I put up a Christmas tree for you. How crazy is that. There's so much I want to know, and so much I want to tell you. You must think I'm so stupid, I hope you've forgotten about this account. This is kinda embarrassing now, I'm sorry. – 5:55am
