I don't know if I deserve to be sad that you died It feels like I didn't earn it Like if I'm sad I'm pretending for attention I don't know if we were close enough I don't think I texted you back enough or respected you enough
After so many years of resentment I don't know if I get to love you It doesn't feel like my loss. It feels like my siblings lost their dad And my mom lost her husband And I'm so sad for my family but it doesn't feel like my father died.
Everyone tells me that you were a good person And I believe them But I don't think I thought so when you were still here And now we share the same sins It's the first thing we've had in common
When I was writing your eulogy it felt like I was writing a paper It was like I was writing it for someone else Someone who knew their dad Someone who liked their dad Someone who was liked by their dad.
The only thing we understood about each other was the bad parts Because we recognized them. And neither of us liked either of us. If you were such a bad person I think I am too The passive aggressiveness The drinking to be likeable The sneakiness The lust The pride My personality is like mom's but my vices are from you.
I don't think we were so distant because we didn't understand each other I think we disliked each other because we understood each other perfectly.