you look in the mirror and you see something putrid, you look away with disgust, you back away, you look down and you use it.
you do not cry out, you don't scream, you don't fall, or trip, or
hesitate,
you just use it.
and then you feel it,
you feel that emptiness release your body,
you let it consume you entirely,
you don't flee,
or run to ,
you just stay,
you don't regret and you don't think what if?
you
finally you feel better
relieved,
then your sense comes back, and your freedom disappears,
runs away like a little girl from a scary nightmare,
and without your consent it returns,
but
the marks remain,
the evidence of your release shouts loudly to their eyes,
to all their eyes,
so you wonder what if
the person standing right next to you or walking a few feet away has done the same exact thing?
used the same escape?
what
if
they did exactly what you fantasized about just a few minutes ago?
and
you
were to blind to see?
to deaf to hear?
to ignorant to realize?
to selfish to try to even look through their wall?