Any time my heart wants to text you
my brain knows to put the phone down  
nothing good ever comes from a “hey…”
we talk twice a year
once on my birthday and once on yours
that should be enough
but there are days when it doesn’t feel like enough
my brain and my heart spit knives at each other
arguing over who is right
should we text him
should we wait until next year
my heart starts typing out “it’s been a while”
and I immediately turn my phone off
its been 7 years, he’s over it
no one keeps feelings that long
“except for me”
we’re adults now, maybe things would be diff—
“I can’t afford to think that way”
thoughts like those cause nothing but stress and a pain in my chest
we can wait 11 more months
and we will have this internal dialogue 11 more times
and I will always wonder what might happen
if I actually press send
“I guess we’ll never know”
regardless
I’ll see you April 2nd