My problem is I don't actually know what love is or how to properly "love" someone. I think I do... but love in my head is so ******* up.
Little things I saw throughout my life tell me love only hurts in the end...
-Nights without *** are nights filled with fighting
-Skipping over the "I love you" means they are lying
-Phones staying locked means their is someone else
How do I know these aren't true?
"Love" has only left people broken. Am I wrong?

Things that are "good" for me always end up hurting me... How is love any different?

Funny thing is I do love... I love people...

I allow myself to fight this terrifying thing in my brain for the hope that it won't hurt me like I have seen my entire life?
Will me loving leave me even more broken then me never loving or will I be shown love is a good thing?

Maybe I'll look past the little things. maybe the little things will show me how to properly love.

Or, am I just a coward?

I've never doubted my own version of love...
Maybe I guard myself to much from other peoples versions of love.

-Why is love so painful and confusing?
-Why do I always think they are lying to me?
-Why do I think I am a short-term escape from people?

Is this what "love" does to people?

Will I always be loved as I saw my parents love? Will I learn that my past has changed? Will I always be seen as the girl who didn't know what she was doing and love-able for a short time?

Is it sad I'm in my 20's and still want the fairytale ending?

I have so many questions.