A well worn path in the grass
A permanent smudge on the bell
Both put there by U.P.S.
Bringing me more of which I delve

Whether Infomercial or Shopping channel
Maters not they're both the same
I have both they're 800 numbers
They have both my number and name

My family thinks I have a problem
It's plain to me they don't understand
Shopping and T.V...the best of worlds
With remote grasped firmly in hand

And the deals, why they keep on coming
3 easy payments are done in a snap
I might have a bit of a habit
But it's not like I'm addicted to crack

Of course I only purchase what's needed
Though every so often I do have to splurge
But only if the object is shinny
On that you do have my word

Now if you'll pardon me, here's a new item
And they're getting ready to spill the deal
By the way, I'm also expecting a package
Would you kindly listen out for the bell