I can't remember a time
That I didn't hear it or feel it calling out to me
Pulling me toward it.
Whatever it is it feels so natural
Like breathing.
I feel it in the autumn air
A sunset
A rip roaring fire across the sky
On a fall night
Where I stand
arms out
Hands Open
Head back
Barefoot in the sand
An ocean of time spread out in front of me
On the ***** of my feet
Savoring the feel of the wind in my hair
Laughing as I run down the beach
And I feel it
When the sky turns cobalt
And the stars show their face
Shining like jewels in the black abyss
And I feel it when Its raining
And I run outside
The thunder cracks across the sky
I feel it as the freezing water
empties across my body
In my eyelashes
Under my nails
Behind my knees
Down my hair and across my spine
The lightning flashes
For a moment
Time
Stops
And people don't see the broken girl I am
They don't see my empty heart
Or my empty hands
Or the nothingness I can offer to the world
What they do see Is a girl
with crazy hair like a halo of curls around my face
They see wild eyes and stretched out arms
An open mouth filling up with rainwater
Bare feet and pale skin
And they see the thing practically alive inside of me.
Its freedom
And its everything I long for as I become locked back up inside myself again.