I find myself skipping to another page,
Moving from myself and focusing
On the people around me,
Inspecting all of the holes
In what I am supposed to call my family.
An alcoholic nan who only respected me
If she had a whole bottle of whiskey beforehand,
Aunties and Uncles who refuse to talk to me,
Another Uncle who despises me because of who I am,
A dad who left me here and went to France so I barely see him,
A brother who would rather belittle and humiliate me than love me,
And so many relatives who don't even know I exist.

But my hatred can outshine them all,
I love my dad, but I wish he was here,
The others can light another match
And continue to burn their bridges.
I know who I love and who love me in return,
Who will never abandon despite the monster I've become,
The real definition of family.