god makes no mistakes, god circles your drain, god looks just like you.
god put his face in my hands, i dont want remember the questions i was asked.
i remember the heat of a church in august,
repeating scriptures as my knees ache against the **** carpet.
i learned that god doesnt pressure the sick ones, he only breaks beneath it. i am salvaging the consolation of knowing these things.
i cherish him with my fingernails,
and i shake like an exhausted child.
i am trying my best to shake this swirling from my mind.
hallowed be my breath my eyes my insides,
because i cant seem to stop believing in you so i am proving myself the only way i can.
flailing, wrecking, losing.