I was brewing coffee in my apartment
alone on a Sunday,
Unfolded laundry mocking me
from the living room floor
& an unread book mocking me from
the kitchen counter
I felt a certain longing
developing around the pit in my stomach
as I stirred cream into the mug you left me
Last time we spoke,
our lives were identical
Just two teenagers
drunk, high, scared & poetic
We could line up the events that lead to this one
And match every single one
Same first love
Same first tragedy
Same friends
Same town
Same worries
But now we see each other
only from a distance
I am older than I was when I had you
You seem to have swallowed the pill
of eternal youth
And I can't make it back to you
I will never be as young as you kept me
I don't miss you
But I miss the way you made me feel
When our lives were aligned
So perfectly
Now the comfort of an other's voice
Is not a sound I can depend on
I am alone
But I'm not lonely
I'm just
Scared
Sometimes
And you're not here