He didn't like the idea of being someone others made him out to be. The talk bothered him since no one was talking about the people that opened there mouth.
Focused on work but considering a career change since it wasn't fun he didn't enjoy himself anymore. Years of being on the back burner and burnt out. Till this day he still doesn't believe he's fulltime permanent.
Not looking back wishing he could of done things different asking why it didn't happen right away when he finally had it wondering was it worth it.