I've been silent on paper
I've been loud in my head
the voices that chatter against my skull
              Reverberations of all my shortcomings, failures,
My narratives of unworthiness

                                  I am my own detriment
                                           my own destruction

I cling to pain and welcome heartache like an old friend

                                     I was born with a broken heart
fragile and shattered
                                  carefully pieces together
                                 bursting at the seams

crushed by the hands i chose to hold it.