I have thought of you in this sticky heat
in my self-imposed exile
Half asleep, feeling broken
in my bed that is an empty sailboat

i blindly wave out my hands
and smash them into the softness of your body
because i need better proof that you are real

i woke up three times today
each time, choking like i had been
held at the bottom of the sea with weights on my ankles
only to break surface and see that the air is still salt water

we talk of anchors
of heavy weights that keep us run aground
i stand on your anchor, feeling the sharp points dig into my feet
wrap my arms around the cold metal
from the distance i’d like to look like a mermaid with twin tails\
but i am a sailor,
straddling the difference between earth and water

i have thought of you in this sticky heat
i have wanted to sweat out my misery with you
soaking the sheets with salt water
and when i wake up drowning you would press to my mouth
the bruises i gave you in my sleep
the only dry land between us