I am lost.
Unable to find my way.
Pieces of me are crumbling,
Falling to the ground.

I am scrambling to grab them all
Before they smash on the ground
…but I'm not that fast.
Pieces of me,
Lost,
Broken on the ground,
Unable to be recovered,
Never to be seen again.

I need a way to solve this
But there is no way.
There is no way out
I am afraid…
So tired.
Tonight I am unable to stop the madness…
I cannot get him off of me,
Out of me.
I can feel him with every inch of my body.
Everything he did
Everything he touched.
  I want these feelings to end.
I need him out of me.
But I think about the days afterward,
When I feel so weak and pathetic
Like such a failure.
But then again, how is that different than right now?

I want to be invisible.
I want to hide away forever.
I have no body.
This is not mine.
But I feel it.
I am trying to ignore it,
Telling myself to stop being crazy,
But I cannot stop my body from remembering.
I want to be invisible.

Maybe if everyone saw what I was,
What I let him do to me
They could see how revolting I really am.
I am so good at hiding it now
But it is a mask, a façade.
He told me I was a little *****.
And if I was a ***** at 5,

What does that make me now?
There is no word for me, is there?
It wasn’t just him…
So many others,
So many other things…
I am an accomplice to all that is evil.
I want it to stop
but it doesn’t comply.
I need my head to stop thinking
My skin to stop crawling,
My stomach to stop churning,
I need my body to stop feeling things
That are not happening now.