I first saw you at the bookstore
Months of texting culminating in that first moment
Days filled with vulnerability and laughter
Hours of silly photos and odd Tik Toks
Bunny videos and cat dramas
Books, games, and basketball
Family, dreams, and needs.

During those first months, I envisioned
how it would feel to meet you
If I would recognize you
If it would feel as natural in person
Would conversation be filtered?
Would we not know what to say?
Would nerves get in the way?

The wait before I saw you was tense
Knotted stomach and sweaty palms
Aimless strolling without seeing
Picking spines off shelves
While my own swivels every time the door opens

Surrounded by vanillin escapes and bitter coffee
Seeing your pink sweater and jeans
The heart calms and breath steadies
Chatter and rustling dissipate
Every crevice of my being thrums
As I watch you approach
Sparks shimmer up my arms
A mirror soul stares back

I first saw you in the book store
Walls filled with happy endings
Hopes and dreams of others' imaginations
Yet those stories I held so dear told me lies.
That I was worthy of a fairytale kind of love
And for a moment it felt real.

Our first hug felt too short
I didn’t want to let you go
Our first kiss left me wanting more
I melted in your arms
Our first misunderstanding dropped me
I didn’t see it coming
Our last conversation left me shattered
I wanted to keep going

But I’ll always have when I first saw you
The outside world ceased to matter
The smallest touch set me aflame
When everything stilled
When all was novel
When all was ardent
When all left me animated
When all left me breathless
When wistful was just a word in a book