In my dream last night
someone said they'd seen you
I saw a strand of red hair
that I was being too optimistic to recognise as my own
there was nothing I could remember
it's really not much
and I know you're not coming back
but these moments give me something
something like some part of you still being here
even if it's just me
something like you'll turn around any second
something like you'll be back soon

(One day I'll be older than you were)

You turn to me
our eyes are the same
but yours are bigger with concern
you say
but... there's no connection
wringing your hands out
like a cloth you don't understand
a letter addressed directly
to my inner saboteur
an answer for everything
comes out of my closed mouth
suddenly an adult you weren't ready for
with a wry smile
isn't that the whole point?
I'm the thing that's still here
and I don't think you're stuck
up there
anymore
in the stratosphere