i don't want feel this anymore
i wish this from my very core
how i try to act normal around
lonely as hell in these crowds
one look at me they see
how different i breathe
in this inferno i seethe
of agony, guilt and loss
seeking forgiveness from the cross
yet here i sit
in this dark depressing pit
and pray to be just like all
easy to love and for fall
this stubbornness of mine
keeps me from being fine
the thoughts in my head
make me twist in my bed
these images from my past
in my dreams and screams last
and make me want
to stop this haunt
yet helpless i lay
writing away
all this pathetic pain
******* again and again