i'm equally as scared as i am curious to know
what i would do if i ever could see myself

not my reflection nor my shadow
not a photograph, not a memory
but to stand beside and breathe
separately and simultaneously
with the person i am right now

would i see the girl that
my loved ones claim to admire and cherish
or be disappointed by meeting
exactly whom i already perceive myself as

broken

would i see death in her eyes
like i do daily in the mirror
or would i see hope, hatred
pity, strength, guilt...fear

yes, i think i'd see fear

i think i'd take a knife to her head
and pierce the wicked, coward
that sits protected within my skull
until i couldn't swing anymore

or maybe i'd give her a hug


...


to stab her in the back.
that seems more like it
we've never been one for
confrontation anyways

15.11.21