i’ve been trying to fill the void you left.
first in an attempt to make you miss me,
by counting my calories and running for hours on end.
and that worked for a while.
but then it was empty again.
so i resorted to new substances,
smoking things you had warned me of.
getting that high and forgetting about you until it all came crashing down again.
and then finally with older men,
in crowds that should’ve made me uncomfortable.
but for some reason the objectification i received eased the pain of your rejection.
until it went too far,
and i didn’t have you there to protect me anymore.