Had I brought drinks all round
and entertained mother and daughters
and slipped a tenner a week
into bra-straps

had I been wild and amoral enough
to kiss the missus off to work and then let them in
hop back to bed with another warm body
and party like 1999

had I been rank and coarse enough
to treat them like ******
a quickie, here's a fiver
go buy yourself something sweet
hey ****! not a word
to the missus, yeah, of course not
yeah, had I been your average Winston

I would probably now
still be married, have a big fat job
a house in a nice area
and a couple of bottie-calls to keep things fresh

well I wasn't all those things
I am a man with a conscience, ethics and morals
yip, and look where all that got me

yeah! ya'all know the rest
no need to play the violin stuff again
and don't pretend you know nuffink
suffice to say our dear Saint is doing Saint duties

But know something though
would I do the same again assuming we could go back in time
and , wait for this
Yes, exactly as first time,
only this time I would have involved the Police
after that first incidence of Mr Thief-next door kicking our door in
yes, we should have gone straight to the Police, stupid me

otherwise, I will do same as before
its just the way I roll