I can’t speak. I am mute. The words, half-formed, stop between my heart and my lips. What was I going to say?
Mundanities. Sit and listen. Shut up. I’m listening.
What did you say?
It’s grey, but I can see in colours, so many colours. My heart beats, the warmth of my hands, my steady breaths. I am.
I’m lost in this pinwheel, this spinning circle, the inevitabilities. Round and round we go. I exist in moments. Each second the hands pass. I am silenced. I have nothing to say. Onwards we continue. March onwards. Brave soldiers, courageous warriors, forward I tell you, forward!
I’m so dizzy. Oh please, can we rest for a while.
Now I don’t know. I know nothing. I am nothing.
Falling like raindrops, broken dolls you lie on the floor. Still, your unmoving eyes remain, reflecting hollowed moons.
Watch me. Watch, watch closely.
I’ve forgotten what I wanted to say. No matter. There’s always tomorrow.
Empty as always. Take out my soul, scrape me raw. I am a husk. Crumbling, but untouched perfection. Automaton, I feel nothing.
Oh, invisible man, where are you?
We walk in circles. Monday, Monday and a thousand Mondays again.
Below lies the fiery depths of hell. Above, the unforgiving brilliance of heaven. And in between, an endless purgatory.
We are hamsters on a wheel. Waiting.
Are you listening, or not?