He had his person, so he can talk to bounce ideas off. Sometimes he'd listen other times. In his head he thought it was a brilliant but he was wrong lots of twists and turns failed outcomes. Things never went according to plan another outcome that was unexpected. He felt broken and took himself apart and reconstructed himself so he could be better. Told who to be and how to act didn't make sense. He knew his story, knew what he was pursuing. Disappeared so it would just fade away.
He tried to communicate things got worse. No one would come to terms always open to others while they denied and rejected his being. He'd think way too much and write about. He never wrote about people but the situation. How it made him feel coping is hard told not to show any emotions and move on.
Having an opinion made out to be crazy for sharing another way of how things could be done. Some expect him to change but its never good enough. He had enough to deny himself was the worse feeling ever. He didn't know how to act or what to say. Why bother hoping to find a place to feel accepted and belong. Letting go was easier than holding on.