Once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Everything must go!
No offer unreasonable! No price too low!

What's that you say? You say you're just not buying it?
You don't like its looks and you're just not trying it?

That is cheap and this is ******,
What is this, plastic? How gaudy!
Everything you have to offer is beneath me,
Is this the legacy you thought to bequeath me?

My apologies, I do not possess the prowess to hold your interest,
I hope you'll forgive my hubris & this foolish idea that I should be honest,
In fumbling, stumbling, pedestrian prose & ****-poor rhymes like those.
I suffer from multiple isms you see, I must've been having a schism, truly.

It's not my custom to put a tag on things so dear,
Nor, had I a choice, would I place the price so near,
To nothing that I shiver at the cold cost, this chilling fear,
That even if I were free I'd be too much to bear.